As the song says, “there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain” – and these are the two main reasons why people make a change…
- PLEASURE – they see something they want (or want more of), and they go out of their way to get it, and
- PAIN – they are in, or get to a place they cannot stand for one more minute, so they go out of their way to move out of that situation.
Change doesn’t always come easy, and we can feel anywhere from uncomfortable, to downright shitty with our life – and in a lot of cases we don’t know why.
Here is a list of signs that should be like red flags to a bull that it’s time to “Suck it up Princess” and make a change. Tick them off if they apply to you.
- You’re seriously envious of other people lives.
You think that everyone has it better than you do – a better house, a better marriage, a better job, a better lifestyle. The list goes on…
Whatever it is you’re envying, it means you want something more in your own life that you admire in another person/people. So, why can’t you have it too?
And that’s my whole point. Why can’t YOU have it too? If you think you can’t – that’s just BS! “Can’t” is simply a story you’ve created for yourself. Bin that story and write a new one. Seriously, it’s ALL about the story you tell yourself.
- You’re feeling resentful.
You’re pissed off, frustrated, irritated – whatever you want to call it, at the end of the day you are resentful. Feeling this way is a sure sign that a few different things might be happening in your life.
There’s a failure to communicate somewhere. Solution: You have the power to show up and say your truth. Has that happened? No? Guess whose responsibility that is?
Boundaries may be crossed. Solution: First- have they been established previously? If not, why not? Guess that one’s on you.
You’re tolerating something that very well may have the ability to be changed. Solution: Either change it, or change your story around it. Guess what? That’s up to you too!
- You’re numbing out.
We all want to feel relief fast. Sometimes that relief comes in through “Retail Therapy” (spending money), drinking, gambling or losing ourselves playing Candy Crush Saga. But, what are you avoiding when you’re numbing out on a regular basis? Is it your marriage? Your fears? Your insecurities?
For me, I used to numb out when I was stressed, depressed and overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of everything going on in my life. I drank, I shopped, I even went into hiding in an attempt to numb the feelings of fear and failure – and then I felt worse and it started all over again. I was avoiding my real feelings rather than confronting them and dealing with them.
Facing your issues instead of numbing out is scary – trust me, I know it feels. But the truth is that ignoring it DOES NOT make it just go away. If anything, it gets worse! I cannot stress enough how important it is to face it and deal with it. Let’s call it short term pain for long term gain!
- You’re trying to change everyone else, or you think everyone else needs to change.
If everyone would just do as you say, and stop doing this and just shut the hell up, your life would be better. Ahhh yes!
But the truth of the matter is, everyone else’s shit is not about you. Deal with your own shit and keep your side of the street clean.
What needs to be changed in your life is you dealing with your own issues instead of everyone else’s. Trying to “fix” everyone else while ignoring your own life just doesn’t work. So, face your own stuff and make that therapy appointment if that’s what it takes!
- Your intuition is telling you that you need to make a change.
This one is a no brainer, but it has to be on the list. You may already be at that place where your gut and heart are telling you to draw the damn line in the sand and make a change – but are you paying attention? The fear of change often out ways the fear of staying the same. But, ask yourself this, how scary is it going to be, to be in this same place 5, 10, or 20 years from now? Still not as scary as changing?
Your intuition (your gut instinct) is your subconscious mind that always has your back. It always knows what’s best for you, and always wants to lead you to a place of happiness and fulfillment. But, the journey is unknown and crazy-scary, so we ignore it and/or go in the complete opposite direction.
Question – when has ignoring your intuition ever worked out for you? I’m guessing not very often!
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And one final thing…